deadbydawn | ryslig inbox

Sorry for trying to keep the mood light.

[He's quiet as he closes the door behind him. There was a lot of reasons why he wanted to come over, but mostly he didn't want to be alone right now. He was so tired of being alone, and if he had to desperately cling to the few people who don't outwardly hate him, then so be it.

Exhaling loudly, he rests his head on the door as he continues.]

Look, I don't want you to do anything I just... This is a lot to take in, you know. I'm not exactly used to this whole "becoming a cannibalistic monster" shit. I don't think I'm going to start going crazy and killing people any minute now, but I would like to process this.

[Ash falls silent for a few moments. He remains suspended in the shadows, staring at Phil. He hates that he knows why Phil is here. The sorry bastard doesn't want to be alone for this. Nobody wants to be alone when they find out they actually have to start eating people or draining them or...or whatever.

Ash didn't have a choice. He woke up hungry one day and tore someones soul out, and that was that. He had to sit and think about that aftermath on his own. Selfishly, he thinks to himself why he should offer Phil any sort of sympathy if he wasn't offered the same. Within moments, he regrets the thought.

Ash lets out a prolonged sigh.]

Okay, whatever. As long as you're not gonna wig out, that's fine.

[He rubs his eyes with his hand, a sense of exhaustion settling over him.]

If you're real desperate, I'm pretty sure I left a corpse buried in the front lawn a few months back. You can probably eat that.

Edited 2021-11-10 04:26 (UTC)

Well I guess eating a dug up corpse will make it harder for me to figure out if I’m gagging because I’m eating human flesh or because of the rot.

[There is a small, wry smile as he says this. It doesn’t last long however, as he buries his face in is hands and sinks to the floor.]

Ugh I can’t fucking believe this. That fucking brat seriously thinks this is an acceptable punishment? He really fucking thinks he’s better than the Fog for doing this to me?

[He’s speaking as if Ash already knows what he’s talking about.]

[Ash pauses. Something nags at the back of his head.]

The fuck are you talking about? Everyone gets their hunger eventually. It's a fact of life here, whether you want it to happen or not. The Fog's the bitch that does that.

[He sounds genuinely confused by this outburst. And then, he asks:]

What did you do?

[He's quiet. Why is he hesitating? He was blabbing about it all over the network. He had been screaming at everyone who supports Elias for being okay with supporting a kid who does this to people, shouting louder than any counter argument.

Why was this different?

Phil exhales, not meeting Ash's eyes.]

So you remember that Cube explosion? I helped lure the people out of the building before it blew up. I knew what was going on but that doesn't make it okay for him to make me want to eat people as punishment for wanting to save them!

[There's a lapse in silence as Ash stares at Phil in disbelief. He lets out a small scoff, placing his hands on his hips. He watches Phil, as if expecting some sort of sign that this is a joke of some sort.]

You did what?

[Ash sounds pissed, to say the least. He paces--no, he glides the length of the room, staring down at the floorboards as he does so.]

You helped blow up the fucking Cube? The fuck did you get yourself involved in that for?!

Because Elias was torturing us!

[His hands are balled into fists as he yells back, now looking at Ash.]

Look even if I could get over those fucking EMP things and didn't hate that kid, the other fog guys were planning it already anyway! What did you want me to do? Just ignore them and let people die? Try to fight a group of monsters when I can barely make a rain cloud?

[Truthfully he had no qualms with it but he's getting really tired of people acting like he could have stopped it.]

Jesus Christ, so you feel a little uncomfortable from the EMPs, big fucking deal! It's not anything that you wouldn't have felt when you were transforming normally--and you wouldn't be experiencing this bullshit if the Fog hadn't taken you and started turning you into a monster to begin with!

[His form buzzes with static and scan lines, becoming more undefined and intangible. It's hard to tell where the shadows end and the shade begins.

He thought that Phil was...well, he didn't think he was intelligent, per se, but he didn't think he was dumb enough to buy into that Fog crap. Especially not after seeing how limited Ash's form is after the Fog's influence. He seethes, aghast at how seemingly short-sighted Phil is acting.]

Big whoop, you got slammed with the need to eat humans earlier than you expected. You would've gotten around to that eventually, no thanks to the stupid cloud that calls itself a god. What the fuck did you even have to gain from joining in this stupid plot?

[Ash throws his hands in the air in an exasperated gesture.]

Actions have consequences, buddy. Ya shouldn't punch someone and being surprised at being punched back.

[Oh, this is rich, especially coming from Ash Williams, of all people.]

I'm pissed off because he's doing this while acting like he's better than Fog, you idiot!

[He doesn't know why this is so hard to understand. Sure, he knew that Fog had her faults. Her massive, gaping faults. And he recognizes that some people wouldn't be okay with the lady that kidnaps people and turns them into cannibals. He's not stupid.

But Ash is completely glossing over how Elias is just as bad as Fog, if not worse for not being up front with shit. And the fact that he's glossing over his wants. He scoffs at the implication that he didn't want to be taken, that he would rather be where he was prior to waking up here]

And dear god, don't you think I'd rather be here?! You fucking know why I can't go back home!

[His expression is absolutely serious as he says this.

He... seems to genuinely expect Ash to know why he can't leave.]

The Fourth isn't fucking keeping me here in this miserable goddamn BODY!

[As he shouts the last word, the glitching grows and completely overwhelms Ash's form. The sound of static can be heard as he curls in on himself, his eyes simmering with anger.]

Yeah, I'll be the first to tell ya that it fucking sucked being in Michigan. But out there, I could fuck whoever I wanted to without worrying about phasing through them, and I could wake up without realizin' I've fallen into the ground and needing to haul my ass out of the floor. And, newsflash! I didn't have to deal with supernatural shit exploding all around me constantly.

[He stops for a moment, seemingly wanting to go on, but then he scoffs and turns to look at Phil.]

We've fucked twice--twice--and you expect me to know every facet of your tragic backstory? Oh, please. Tell me, then. What could possibly make you wanna deal with this-- [He gestures towards the whole of his surroundings.] --instead of, oh, I dunno, literally anywhere that doesn't force you to become a maneating monster?

You can't tell me you don't know! I was only the guy who, the day I woke up here, told literally everyone at camp about how I shot my brains out in front of a crowd! And I was the guy who told the whole damned world about how I had been living in hell for more days than I can fucking count!

[Phil stands up, gesturing to Ash.]

This is why I prefer it here, Ash! You can fucking remember me! You remember the things we do together! I'm not stuck alone for the rest of eternity in a fucking time loop here!

[There is a spark of lightning surrounding his fists now, but if Phil notices it, he doesn't act like he does.]

[Time loop. The words hit him over the head like a sledgehammer to the face, and he stops. For once in his goddamn life, Ash stops and thinks.]

Shit.

[Ash wasn't at the camp when Phil spoke. Hell, he'd glossed over the story on Joshua's post, but it didn't register to him that Phil was the one who wrote it. After all, it was before the party, and before he had any reason to care about Phil.

His gaze shifts from Phil in discomfort. He doesn't want to deal with this. He shouldn't have to deal with this. But Phil is in his house and he's standing there, expecting a response of some sort.]

How the hell did you get yourself caught up in that?

[He stops seeing Ash's sudden discomfort, the sparks flying from his hands ceasing. God he really didn't know, did he? If he wasn't overflowing with emotions he would make a joke, bit he can't.]

I don't know.

[His voice is suddenly quiet, sad. Phil returns to not making eye contact as he rubs his arms.]

It was supposed to be a routine weather report at the stupid Groundhog Day festival. I was supposed to be back home by the end of the day, but this fucking blizzard came and trapped us in the town and...

The day kept repeating. I don't know how or why but Groundhog Day kept happening. [His voice cracks, slightly.] I was trapped in that cold, dark town for so long without seeing the sun or even sleeping in my own damned bed.

Being here was the first time I felt happiness in years. This is the first time in years that I had sex with someone who didn't immediately forget I existed the next day. This is the first time in years where I didn't wake up to a town that doesn't give a shit if I'm okay or not.

... I know Fog isn't a saint, far from it. I don't want to kill and eat people, in fact, it terrifies me, but do you know what's better about this place for me? It's going to eventually end. All I wanted for years was for it to end.

[He doesn't specify what "it" is.]

Edited 2021-11-11 05:15 (UTC)

[Ash can guess what "it" is. It's not like he hadn't thought about it before, himself. But he's not comfortable with these kinds of personal matters. For God's sake, he's talked to this guy...twice? Both of which were fraught with other kinds of emotions.

For a few moments, Ash remains quiet, unsure of what to say in response to this. His blank, white eyes betray nothing but puzzlement and discomfort. What does he even address, in this scenario?]

Shit. And here I thought my adventure through time was fucked up.

[Ash lets out a small snort of disbelief. His form sinks slightly lower, passing partially through the floorboards.]

To be fair, Michigan wasn't exactly peachy keen, either. Felt like I needed to get outta there or else something was gonna break. [....] But, if I'm bein' honest, I still can't see the connection between being trapped in groundhog hell and immediately throwin' yourself at the feet of the "god" that claims to have "saved" you.

[Phil is quiet. He knows why he started following Fog, but he wasn't really keen on telling anyone else. Somehow, it was much easier to lie and say that he was bored, or that he said he was going to join a god anyway, than to tell the truth.

Why was this so hard?]

...Because she promised that I'd never have to go back there. I don't know if it's a coincidence that she took me in when she did but I feel like I had to, you know, thank her somehow. If it means joining a cult, then so be it.

[He suddenly starts to feel extremely uncomfortable after he says that. God, he's just pouring out his entire life story to this virtual stranger. Ash probably thinks he's a complete lunatic or just begging for attention.

Deciding to pivot the conversation, Phil awkwardly shakes his head and clears his throat.]

Wait, so you mentioned dealing with time shit too? What's that about?

[This is a conversation he can deal with. Ash can brag all he wants about this little adventure, all while being sure Phil won't see through his bullshit.]

Oh, I got sucked into a vortex that sent me back to 14th century England, where I got captured and nearly killed before they realized I was the "chosen one" to defeat the army of deadites. Made my metal hand--from scratch, without capacitors or any of that shit--had to go on a whole journey to find the Necronomicon, got split into an evil undead version of me...and met a girl.

[The way he trails off at the end and gazes wistfully into the distance signifies much more than simply "meeting" a girl.]

I could've stayed and been named king. But I decided to come back. I was tired of all the shit I'd put up with, and just wanted a nice, normal life.

[He shrugs.]

It was pretty fucked up. But at least I still had, you know, my body and my dick. Both of which are things the Fog took from me.

[He sounds incredibly bitter about this, perhaps unreasonably so, but he would expect Phil to understand his plight more than anyone else.]

[Phil just stares at Ash as he tells his story. He wants to ask if he's being serious but stops himself before he speaks for once. No, he's dealt with enough people calling him crazy for what he's been through to judge like that.

He notices Ash's wistful gaze briefly and exhales.]

You know that wasn't what I expected when you said you dealt with time shit, but god the time stream is a lot more fucked than I thought it was, I guess.

[He's silent for a moment when he brings up Fog again, and he looks unusually thoughtful.]

... Do you want to know a secret?

[He exhales, looking behind him as if worried that Fog herself would pop in at any moment.]

If she took my dick I'd probably hate her too. Wouldn't think about following that shitty kid but there is no way I'd be following her if I was in her shoes.

[This is the dumbest conversation.]

[Ash lets out a singular, harsh HAH.]

It's not like you're required to lick her boots, you know. You don't owe anyone shit for what they've done for you, especially not gods.

[He doesn't want to keep talking about this, but Phil isn't making fun of him or scoffing at his story. Everyone else he's ever told this to has rolled their eyes or called him crazy. He appreciates the fact that Phil's listening, but...he can't bring himself to say that. Not like this. Phil can rattle on about whatever the hell he wants, but Ash? Ash can't, not unless he wants to get burned later down the line.

And as much as he'd like to trust Phil, well...he has to admit to himself that he doesn't really know the guy.]

That kid promised me my body back. I don't care how cool my ghost powers are, I want to be able to chose to not be able to fuck somebody instead of bein' forced to exist in this-- [He makes a vague gesture with his hand.] --limbo.

I'm not kissing her boots. For your information my beef with that brat has nothing to do with Fog. I would have done it even if I wasn't following anyone.

[He's quiet for a moment after that. Phil wasn't stupid, he was able to recognize how they both had joined different gods because they promised something that they desperately wanted.

But god he really trusted this horrible kid to do that for him?]

... Wait, couldn't you ask that one guy to- [He cuts himself off. No there's got to be an underlying factor to why he can't ask Mana for a dick yet. If he was in Ash's shoes he knows that would be his first idea.]

Look, I'm not gonna kill ya for supporting that kid, but he's such a little shit. And after doing this [Gestures to himself.] too me, I'm not eager to have my mind changed about it.

Maybe next time you should think twice before you jump into half-baked terrorist plots against, y'know, a god.

[Because of course he needs to get in the last word. As if he isn't himself in the process of coming up with a half-baked terrorist plot against the Fog God. He runs a hand through his hair, looking unsure of himself.]

If I'm bein' honest, from where I'm standin', you seem like an idiot and a half for runnin' off and deciding to get involved with this. But hell, you didn't deserve to have that happen. I mean, the time loop and the Fourth shit.

[Hypocrite.]

When have I ever thought twice on anything?

[He half heartedly laughs.]

Isn't that just my life though? I'm a moron who doesn't give a shit about anything and I get a grossly overblown punishment because of it.

[Out of the frying pan...]

... Thanks for not kicking me out, I guess. And sorry about the shit going on with you. If I just got back from being stuck in medieval times to modern day I'd probably wanna get away from this backwards universe too.

Ain't that just the way for guys like us?

[He's all too aware of this. The ultimate punishment for being a moron, minding his own business, when he gets slapped over the head with the cruelest twist of fate. His friends, gone. His sister, gone. His girlfriend, gone. A never-ending road of horror and shitty scenarios, this one included.

He lets out a huff, shaking his head.]

Hey. You know what might help take the edge off all this?

[He winks.]

We really are just the universe's playthings are we?

[Genuinely, Phil couldn't think of any people he actually missed from before the time loop. He was in such a deep depression by the end of it he didn't even care about getting back to his old life, he just wanted out. And now he has people he cares about and now fate decided to twist itself again to make him suffer. Like the universe knew he was finally feeling happy again and wanted to drag him back.

... He hoped it didn't come to that. He would do anything not to be back in the pit he was in.

Ash's words drag him out of his thoughts, and Phil gives him a smug grin.]

I suppose I should give you a nice thank you for letting me stay here for a bit. What kind of guest would I be if I didn't give my host a nice gift?

[He winks back and holds out is hand. This is how normal people deal with trauma I guess.]

[Normal people, doing normal things, in an essentially abandoned house. Ash smirks, reaching out without thinking much of it. His hand passes through Phil's, and a burst of static courses through his arm as he does so.

Right. His brow furrows as he concentrates, trying again. This time, he makes contact, his fingers wrapping around Phil's. He can at least pretend like he's not living in the worst fucking situation he could possibly imagine.

He pauses, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his surroundings. That's fine. They'll both survive.]

To the bedroom, then.

[Maybe this'll be the push he needs to actually get a new bedframe...?]

ryslig inbox

no subject

no subject

cw emeto mention

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: suicide mention!

no subject

cw: suicidal implications

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, ASH WILLIAMS. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 05.22.09.12 * ASH WILLIAMS has joined 05.22.09.12 <boomstick69> you've reached the private inbox of the king himself, ashley j. williams ;) <boomstick69>** state your name and business and i'll see if i decide to get back to you